Back to India Voyage - If it's not Fire, it is Water

Prologue

Dont know where to start on this one, as we have had an event less couple of weeks, where everything settled to normalcy. My work schedule has gotton into a nice little routine, and Kids have found themselves friends in the complex and Diwali was a grand success, with kids and adults alike having a blast. Geetha's parents and Sister/BIL were also in town and that made it even more memorable as I had the opportunity to meet Sri Samavedam Shanmukha Sarma Garu because of Madhavi's acqauintance with him. Perks of moving to India, I would say.

If it aint broke - you are not working hard enough

Anything can be repaired in India, including broken iPhones. I finally got someone to fix my broken iPhone screen and gave that to Geetha (Not so romantic, I agree, but she didn't want me to spend more on her phone) during Dasara. She was really enjoying it, and even had an exchange offer from her BIL with a very good Nokia model. One thing of note is that because of the small number of iPhones, the popular e-commerce and e-mall apps are not available on iPhones in India. There are some really great apps like ngPay etc which will let you purchase anything from rail/movie/bus tickets, banking/commerce apps, but they are limited to other smart and not so smart phones. This is a clear case of Discrimination against iPhones and I want to propose to the Congress that they should create a special reservation category for us "e-commerce app Deprived iPhone Users". That's a nice little de-tour, but lets get back to the main topic, shall we?

Geetha's mother left for Kasi along with my parents and I have decided to do Nattalu (fasting everyday for the entire month of Karthika masam) and really getting into it. It had been a week or so into the month of Karthika Masam. My routine is to perform the Puja in the morning and leave for work, come back in the evening, take shower and do puja in the evening and then have my meal of the day. I do not know if it is the fasting or Geetha has gotten even better at cooking, but every meal was so sumptuous that I used to over-eat everyday, and follow that up by a solid sleep till the morning.

Wake up call - sort of

One of those days, Geetha's dad came upstairs around 3 AM in the morning, complaining that the first floor got flooded. I was not sure if I was having a nightmare or it is really happening. Then again, my doubts have been washed off as I walked downstairs along with Geetha to see that the entire ground floor (kitche, hall, bedroom, dining room) is flooded with water. Not much, but about less than an inch of water in the whole house. We saw water dropping of the ceiling in the Kitchen and my throat went dry (amidst all the water around). We soon noticed a jet of water splashing in the sink and my first thought is that there is a broken pipeline somewhere.

So I picked up the phone and was calling the building maintenance. I was talking to them, about the leak and asking them to come over as this comes close to the definition of Emergency (at least in my dictionary) and Geetha asked me to cut the call and come take a look. She discovered the source, and it is not a broken line, and I had to cut call with the maintenance saying "Never mind.." and turned my attention to Geetha.

At this point, Her father is a little confused, perturbed and worried to say the least. Dont' know if it is the way we are, or we got toughened by the events that culminated to date, neither Geetha nor I did flinch and behaved as if it were a regular event during the course of the day. It did not matter that, it was in the middle of the night or wee hours of the morning, or that there is water all over the house.

Where the rubber meets the road

The problem turned out to be a water inlet for our Water filter in the kitchen. Somehow, the inlet pipe came loose and water started gushing out (it is only a 5 mm pipe, but the pressure is high, with us being in the ground floor) into the sink. There was a plate covering the sink drain, so the water was splashing upwards giving us the impression that there was a leak in the ceiling. Now we were in much worse shape, as the problem was not someone else's but just our doing.

For starters, we shut down the inlet valve to avoid further amplification of the problem, then surveyed the scenario a little. There is water all over and we have two outlets one in to the balcony (closer to the source) and another into the bathroom attached to the bedroom (farthest from the problem source). With water being everywhere, Geetha and I decided to roll-up our sleeves and get to work. Thank the Mighty british empire for endowing us with the greatest of strategies, we decided to "Divide and Conquer". Geetha chose the balcony outlet and I chose the bathroom outlet, and armed with sponge mops we started sweeping the water away.

Nick-nacks and few other toys and sundry kept aside, Geetha and I were busy brushing/pushing the water out of the house into the outlets. Water under the beds, under the sofas, and water in the kitchen. Slowly but steadily Getha made her way out of the kitchen in to the hall and I met her my clearing my way out of the bedroom. We are breathing a sigh of relief when we saw ......

Fighting Spirit - not ours

Back to the point I mentioned earlier, regarding the iPhone, there it is, totally drenched in the water on the kitchen counter. It was so strategically placed on the kitchen counter that all the water splashing (instead of over-pouring) was landing on or near the phone and I read somewhere that electronic equipment and water do not mix well. There is truth to that piece of wisdom and now I could see the iPhone trying to do its best. One could clearly see the struggle its going through as the screen is flashing, flinching and even made attempts to make and answer phone calls. I attribute it to the brave soul that Steve jobs had designed, that despite its agonizingly pathetic physical condition, it was making feeble attempts to assure us that "all izz well". But we know in our heart of hearts that that poor soul is destined to be silenced and we would not see his bright face anymore.

We said a few little prayers for the brave soul and marched on the task in hand. Sure enough, in about an hour we were able to clear the house of the water, and we looked at each other, and heaved a sigh of relief. It was in the middle of the night, and we were sweating from the exhaustive physical work and said good night to Geetha's dad and went back to sleep as if nothing had happened.

A Matter of Faith

What befuddled us and put us in a state of sheer amazement was the fact that, there is not a drop of water in the Pooja Room which is adjacent to the Kitchen, hall and dining room. I dont claim it to be a divine intervention or a miracle, but a key aspect of our Vasthu system or Engineering which made that part of the house slightly inclined and the basi characteristic of water to follow the downward slope. If you see this an omen to renew your faith, I would be a happier person for it.

When we woke up the next morning, the only remnants of the last night's event were the wet floor mats and the dying iPhone. If not for these hard evidences, I would have chalked out this as a decent nightmare and slept if off..

Back to India Voyage - Rats and BSNL

Let me warn you, first off all, I am not referring to the employees of BSNL, lest I offend the rats. Here is another episode that can only happen to the select few and I fortunately or unfortunately fall in to that group.

Since my landing in the mother land, I have called numerous telecom providers asking for internet connectivity. In the land of IT, I got apology mails from the likes of Airtel, Tata etc saying they would not be able to provide service in my building. Then I found the brave soul BSNL, who took it to heart and promised me a service.

Encouraged by this new found enthusiasm, I have applied for a land line and broad band connection (a guarantee of 2 MBPS) online. Waited an eon and then, saw another advertisement from BSNL and sent them SMS requesting the same service. For good measure I followed it up with phone calls a week later.

Really on the wits end, last week I went to BSNL office and inquired about the status of my application. Not much surprise there, I was greeted with a friendly (wink) face who asked "What Application". I repeated my story. With a very understanding smile, she said, "Oh! you are from US. Generally, when you file an online application, you have to come to office and file a paper application." Little did I know about this highly advanced technological advancement. Having been in India for over a month now, I duly complied and filled in an application form for a land line and broad band connection and filled in the fees. Along the process I gave my proof of address, identity proof, a photograph, my current bill, a pint of blood, appendix and pancreas (who needs these organs anyway).

Now comes the twist. She gave me the application and asks me to go to another office (behind this office) and get permission from Mr. Nagaraja Rao. Like a stupid I ask "Why". She said, she can only take the application if he approves. Frankly I got confused (to my knowledge this does not happen very often), but what other option do I have. So, I went to the other office and saw the mentioned Nagaraja Rao, who looked at me and said, "File the application in the front office". I told him, that I was sent from the front office to see him. He said "you fulfilled the formality. so, now I'm telling you to go and file the application". I tried to assess the situation, but thought better of it and filed the application.

The CS rep, then took my application and after 15 minutes, told me that their systems are slow, and she would fill in the form later, but meanwhile, she gave a hand-writeen receipt that I applied for the said services and duly signed and put a rubber stamp and gave me the receipt. Methinks, "If their systems are slow to enter/process my application, how could provide me a 2MBPS service".

I am a patient man (a virtue I acquired recently and have been using and abusing it) and waited 4 days. Nothing happened, and I went to the BSNL office once again to inquire about my application (Paper application this time). They took my name, and the unequivocal paper receipt, and then told me that there is a problem with my application. I asked them what it was. It just so happens that India is booming with people looking for cell phones, and they ran out of 9 series and 8 series. When my turn came, I got a 7 series number and BSNL system does not like this (as it thinks this is a bogus number). My feelings exactly ("Are you kidding me"). Some how, I managed to convince them that they can call that number, which they did and fixed that issue. Now another problem with the application is that I chose a 2 MBPS package which is the highest they offered, and it is on the paper application form, but not yet in their system. I asked them why they could not have told me that on the day I filed the application. They answer promptly was "You did not wait till the application was filed. So, we could not have envisioned what all problems the system gives without entering the data".

I asked them to give me any plan they can enter in the system. I was asked to call back in the afternoon to get an Order #, then call Mr. Nagaraja Rao to expedite the order. Do you See the pattern here? By now a seasoned citizen, I called in the afternoon and got the order number and called Mr. Nagaraja Rao. He tells me, he is not in a position to promise anything. This is when I lost it. I blasted him and talked to few others and finally someone up or down the chain promised to expedite the order.

Real shocker, an hour later, Geetha calls to tell me that BSNL people are home installing the land line. I was surprised, shocked, and beginning to think, I should have blasted these people a month ago and I would have been in Gigabit land. Lesson learned, and mission accomplished.

It would not be a Krishna Story if it ends at this point. So, the story continues..

Geetha calls again, and says the BSNL people can not install as there is some problem. We call the building maintenance people and between them and BSNL folks, identified the problem. RATS. Yup, you read it right, Rats chewed the cable running from BSNL end point in the building to where it joins in my (or the one I rented) apartment. It is not the responsibility of BSNL. RATS.. that's all I can say. So, now I am in the hunt to find whose responsibility is it, and get the wiring installed.

BSNL people promptly left saying "Let us know when you install that cable and we'll install the land line". Now, I can not even blast them, as they can say "Talk to them rats in your building", which could mean so many different things...

Rats.. rats.. rats...

So, in conclusion, "Have you seen rats lately?"


Krishna